Wednesday 14^th April, Astro Motel, Hutchinson Kansas

16.30

Yesterday

74 miles yesterday on three long straight roads. Two in the morning and one 40-mile stretch in the afternoon. Mile after mile of flat farm land. This sort of country can do strange thing to you. If it wasn’t for Bertie, the tame buzzard who now flies alongside me reciting Hiawatha, I think I would have gone completely of my rocker.

Lunch was in a store in Cassoday just about halfway through the journey. It was only 10.45 but we tucked into spicy potatoes and sauerkraut and pork from the buffet. There was nowhere else between there and Newton, our stop for the night. You learn to eat what you can when you can,

While we were there, a grizzly old farmer regaled us with tornado stories (advice if you see one: “hide in a ditch or under a bridge”) while in the corner of the store, a woman was seasoning huge lumps of meat prior to putting them on the barbecue outside. A customer asked what they were. “Pork butt” came the reply. It was a bit like eating in an abattoir but good fun.

The afternoon was absolute hell. 40 miles in a very strong cross wind. Possibly the worst session of the trip so far. If the wind had been in front of us, it would have been impossible. Mike is really positive and determinedly upbeat at these times, noting any minor drops in the wind speed and pointing out things of interest to distract us from the struggle. I have more or less decided to strangle him before we reach Colorado.

We reached Newton around 5.30 feeling dehydrated despite having each drank two litres of Gatorade in 4 hours. We sat outside a garage consuming 44 oz containers of Dr. Pepper as if our lives depended on it.

We checked into the Best Western, and ate next door in Montana Mike’s Steak House, a large cheerful place packed with families. Our waitress was Amber who was really good fun. We ordered a beer before dinner and then, when ordering our food, asked for a glass of wine each. (They did not seem to sell bottles).

Amber: “Mah! You guys are alcoholics!” ( If she had had the vaguest inkling of our normal consumption.....)

We pointed out that we had been working very hard and she gave us her dispensation.

Mike noticed before I did that Amber was expecting and asked her when the baby was due (Late June). I saw that she had no wedding ring and thought of saying “Mah Amber, you’re a scarlet woman” but remembered, just in time that we are our country’s ambassadors.

Two large steaks and then back to the hotel. We stopped at a fast food place to try and pick up a bar of chocolate but they had none. Instead, Mike insisted on buying an industrial-size box of peanut brittle.

I normally like to end the day sitting in bed reading a slim volume of poetry but this is really impossible when the person in the bed next to you is noisily masticating.