Wednesday April 21^st , Hotel Ordway, Ordway, Colorado

22.00

We had a drink in the Windmill Saloon before dinner last night. It differed from the Trench Bar in Eads in that it is made completely out of corrugated tin rather than that attractive tin/breeze block effect. It’s a bit like drinking in an aircraft hangar. A friendly crowd at the bar, including a group of women, something you don’t often see in bars here. On one wall a large portrait of John Wayne. I’ve seen a few of these around; I suppose he passes for royalty in these parts. On another wall an advert for a company offering a method of easily removing raccoons, and prairie dogs from your property. Basically they sell you self-igniting cans of propane which you lob down the little varmints burrows where they then explode. The cans that is. Well, probably the animals too come to think of it.

Breakfast this morning was back at the K&M where the waitress cheered us up by telling us that last week they had had hailstones the size of golf balls and that it was now the rattlesnake season.

There’s not a lot to say about today’s trip. Fairly overcast all day but the wind held off most of the time. The guide book noted a “surprise coffee stop at Haswell “ 23 miles away. The only surprise was that they didn’t sell coffee. It was just a garage with a selection of cold drinks. And that was it, the only sign of civilisation until our destination. The barren sandy soil showed why no-one would wants to live out there. As a result, today was just a long fairly boring slog.

Ordway has a proper hotel, rather than a motel. We are not allowed to bring our bikes into our room which is something we have got used to. It does make the place look a lot tidier.

We had a beer in the Columbus bar where they have more electronic dartboards (they had them in the Windmill too, darts is obviously a big Colorado thing. ) and then lunch in the “Bits and Spurs” restaurant which had wooden tiles around the room displaying the branding marks of local cattle men. I could have done without the large colour photo of a cow being branded. I ended up having an omelette.

After the usual afternoon chores we were back to the Columbus and then down the road to Martin’s Main St Restaurant. for meatloaf, mash and peas. No fast food for two days running is a bit of a result.

To Pueblo tomorrow and we are probably going to have another rest day. We need some more bike repairs (I need new pedals and a decent pair of gloves – Mike wants his bell re-tuned) and it is the last decent sized town for quite a few days. Once we are in the Rockies the average population of a town seems to be about 200 and some of them will be goats.

***

I have discovered what Mike latest little scheme is. He was googling “Colorado” a few days ago and came across a website devoted to Dynasty the 80’s TV series set in Denver. There’s been some revival of interest in the series recently as the actors who played Blake and Ben Carrington, two leading characters, have both died. Unfortunately, the site Mike came across is a sort of fanzine thing that reports events in “Dynasty land” as if they are real. Mike has totally bought into this and thinks that the Carringtons are the elite of Colorado society. What really set him going was the fact that Ben, Blake’s long lost brother (played by Christopher Cazenove) was brought up in England. Mike’s idea - Why couldn’t Blake have two long lost brothers? With Blake and Ben out of the way, who is to disprove it? He’s been working on a very dodgy looking family tree (based around the family of Lord Carrington , Thatcher's one-time foreign secretary) all evening.

“ Won’t they think it odd if you turn up on a bike, smelling a bit?” I ask, desperately trying to lure him back to earth. He replied that this was just the sort of eccentric thing an English aristocrat might do.

“what about me?

“You will be my valet, Trubshaw”.

I am in the middle of America and I suddenly feel quite alone.